At this time of the year many people are overcome with loneliness some choosing to end their life. I leave in a community of uld people and it isn’t easy for them at this time of the year. Some don’t have family while others are estranged from them and a lot just live to far away. (Just an aside a great holiday gift would be to reach out to aomeome who is alone–invite them for a meal–take them to a movie–spend part of your day talking to them.) The one thing everyone can learn is that living alone does not mean being lonely!
It took me 50 years, 4 exes, innumerable mini-affairs to realize that I prefer, enjoy, need to live alone.
I make/am a great friend, adviser, listener but as a life partner a dud. It could be I am too selfish, unwilling to compromise when it comes to ME, unable to sustain a physical relationship with one person or a million other reasons. And it’s NOT that I haven’t found the right person–I did in 1981 but it couldn’t/didn’t last.
Why do I like living alone and don’t feel lonely? Let me tackle the latter first.
I have 7 different, very close friends. If I want to go out to a movie or play, attend an event, spend time at the beach, share a joyful time, cry on someone’s shoulder or just talk they are available. If I want to have a physical encounter I have a group of people to call upon.
Now as to not being/feeling lonely: I have many interests such as reading and writing that take up a lot of my time and there are only 2 things I don’t/won’t do alone–have sex and eat out in a fine restaurant.
Advantages of living alone:
1) I can come home and not have to worry about how the person I live with is feeling, what kind of mood they are in.
2) If I don’t want the TV on it stays off.
3) I can watch what programs I want nor do I have to buy another TV to solve ‘arguments’.
4) I have the whole bed to myself.
5) I do what I want when I want
6) I can eat, read or do anything else I want in bed without having to worry about annoying/disturbing someone.
7) I can eat what I want when I want.
8) I can get up or go to sleep when I want.
9) I can smoke, fart, pick my nose, scratch my butt (Oh, I know YOU don’t do any of these things) use my fingers to eat (Oops! Maybe I should have listed this separately after the other things mentioned :o)) without any comments or put downs or silly laughs
10) I don’t have to hide anything, including what i watch or put on the Internet.
11) Not having a person talk when I am watching and/or doing something when I prefer quiet.
12) I like to vacation, take trips alone, and stop/see where/what I want for as long as I want.
13) I can be sloppy or neat, clean after myself or not without ‘nagging’.
14) I can be responsible for myself only and not for someone else.
15) I can have the a/c on or off–depending how I feel.
16) I can say and/or think “I” as much as I want.
17) I won’t/don’t do anything I don’t want to do.
18) I can eat the whole cake, box of chocolates or cookies, bag of potato chips, etc. myself. (I told you I was selfish!)
19) If I run out of something it’s my fault.
20) I don’t have to lie–not even a ‘white’ lie.
And the list can go on.
The only advantage I can see to having a live in partner is that when you get old and/or sick someone can take care of you.
Besides all I have seen or read about partners are the problems they had or are having.
Plus I don’t have to go through the heartache of a breakup :o)
Though famous on the English stage, TV and in English movies it wasn’t until Judi Dench played M in the James Bond movies and received a supporting actress Oscar for playing Queen Elizabeth that America fell in love with her and hasn’t stopped loving her, with her role in “Philomenia” only solidifying that love.
We first meet the young Philomenia (Sophie Kennedy Clark) losing her virginity, never regretting it, only to become pregnant. Irish girls who bore children out of wedlock, embarrassing their parents, were generally sent away to Catholic church institutes where the nuns kept them in servitude until they paid off the 1,000 pounds until they paid off their ‘debt’. The last time she sees her son Anthony is when, at the age of 3, he is being put in a car after being sold to an American couple.
Fifty-three years later we met the grown up Philomena (Judy Dench) who has been a nurse for thrity years, married, had a daughter and grandchildren but never forgot her Anthony nor did she ever lose her faith in the church. Writer Martin Sixsmith (Steve Coogan), who is a lapsed Catholic to the point of now being an atheist, has recently lost his job. He is a man who likes to write about Russian history couldn’t care about writing a ‘human interest’ story which he sneers at so you know he will be writing Philomena’s story and will help her find her child.
There are many possible spoilers so to avoid them, and let you enjoy the twists and turns, let’s just say Philomena and Martin are complete opposites and travel together to America to find her son. Along the way subjects far and wide are touched upon from the church, to politics, to homophobia, AIDS, the British class system, unforgiving nuns, romantic fiction novels, sex, Jane Russell and even Philomena wanting to watch “Big Mama’s House” instead of going to see the Lincoln Memorial.
Written by Steve Coogan and Jeff Pope, based on the true story written by Martin Sixsmith in the book “The Lost Child of Philomena Lee”, they, along with director Stephen Frears, avoids manpulating the audiende too much. They provide some good laughs while not staying away from the heavier topics.
Steve Coogan holds his own against Judi Dench but you eyes don’t leave her when she is on screen. She inhabits Philomena to the point that we understand this woman’s love, faith, loss, pain and, most of all, her wisdom, with her facial expressions. Sophie Kennedy Clark gets across Philomena’s anguish, especially in the scene where she sees her son taken away while Mare Winningham as a grown up woman who was adopted with Anthony and Anna Maxwell, Ruth McCabe along with Peter Hermann and Michelle Fairley all offer good support in what are almost cameo appearances. Barbara Jefford as Sister Hildagarde stands out.
There are beautiful scenes of Ireland, and Washington D. C., but this movie belongs to Judi Dench deservedly!
We all have many things to be thankful for but every Thanksgiving (and many times over the year) I am most grateful for people who have added to my life and are no more with my physically–I know they are my Guardian Angels looking over my shoulder every day of the year–though YOU may not know them they are a part of my family and I would like to share them with you. During the 80s I lost many friends due to AIDS but now as I am old I am losing many of them to natural causes from growing old.
Until the end BJ fought to stay alive but it wasn’t enough. I only knew her for a very short time over the years if I totaled them up but once you met her you never forgot her.
Then there was Robert who knew he would live for a very long time but it wasn’t long enough. I’ve written about him over the years and he and James who were together for over 50 years. We were close friends for over 30 years.
I miss Layde. She was fun and a great supporter of mine not to mention donating many hours to editing my books and, many times, my thoughts. We met in Tennessee and a few years later she moved to Dallas with her sister Nina and Nina’s partner Jean. She was always there for me with a joke or a shoulder to cry on.
Due to age many people here at Gateway have died. we lost Emily and Barbara and we lost we lost Carmen and Liz, both to cancer. Liz was an outgoing artist who volunteered every Saturday giving walking tours of the Bonnet House, an historical landmark in Fort Lauderdale. She did not suffer fools gladly and wasn’t shy about telling them off.
I have never seen a family matriarch as loved by her family as Carmen was and each child, both daughters and sons, were more beautiful, more handsome than the other. They were polite, well mannered and respected all adults even as they were adults themselves. Her grandson, a strapping 6 feet, 200 pound 13 year old, loved her so much he couldn’t but help show her every time he was near. She was caring, loving, positive and optimistic to all her family, friends and neighbors and had a wicked sense of humor.
They may just be names to you but along with many others they bring a smile and warmth to me whenever I think of them and I often do. I hope Ladye, BJ, Liz, Robert and Carmen get to say hello to:
Albyn (heart attack), Flo (cancer), Joe (stroke), Ginny (cancer), Ronnie (heart attack) Bob B. (heart attack), John C. (AIDS), Tom L. (AIDS), Ray B. (heart attack), Buddy (AIDS), Michael Mc (AIDS), Joe (heart attack) Bob/Dr K (heart attack), Vinnie (heart attack) Robert I. (phenomena)–just a few of my Guardian Angels!!!!
Unless I am old, and being forgetful, or not wanting to remember, I don’t recall losing anyone this year and hope I don’t/won’t.
Here’s also a piece of my heart for all those young people in their teens who have suffered and died from AIDS because their parents and adults don’t care about ‘kids’ nor do they want the government to spend money on helping them. I miss, and remember, each one of you. And to those who have had their life cut short whether they were teens or preyed on by others as they have aged you are missed.
I’ve got it all ready including the turkey. There are the cans of cream of mushroom soup, strings beans and fried onions to make a casserole. There are the pie shell and the can of pumpkin to amke the pie along with an Italian wedding cake for those who don’t like pumpkin–like me! The stuffing, cranberry sauce, apples, peppers and oranges to place in the turkey and around it–the loaf of bread to break with friends!
In all probability I will roast the turkey over night at 225 degrees so when I wake up I’ll be greeted by the smell of the perfectly done turkey. Some years I baste it with orange juice and other years with diet soda so that’s one decision I have to make yet.
Actually I will probably do this all Friday evening so I can celebrate Thanksgiving all weekend as people stop by because, as we have done for a few years in the past, Allen and I will be going to the Isles Casino in Pompano Beach Thanksgiving Day to have their wall to wall buffet of which they added a new angle—I am getting so healthy eating all this ‘healthy’ food! LOL
By the way in case you didn’t know http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Thanksgivukkah
I LOVE the theatre and have ever since I saw the original production of “Oklahoma” on Broadway in 1943 when I was 7 years old—okay I KNOW you weren’t born yet!!!– I wanted to be Alfred Drake who played the original Curly and then a couple of years later I wanted to be John Riatt when I saw him play Billy in “Carousel”–sadly I couldn’t carry a tune. In any case since then I have seen thousands of plays and musicals and the lights going down in a theatre before the show starts still sends a shiver down my spine!
Luckily, about 4 years ago, Corine, who has 2 show business related web sites– corinescorner.com and broadwayshowbiz.com–contacted me about reviewing toruing companies of Broadway shows and it is like being in theatre heaven for me. Tonight I will be going to see the opening night of the touring company of “The Book of Mormon” in Fort Lauderdale at the Broward Performing Arts center and I can’t wait. Look for my review.
(An aside–before the show we will be having an early dinner/late lunch at the Dubliner Irish Pub not too far from the theatre!)
This a partial copy of the publicity release I received:
The producers of the national tour of the new musical THE BOOK OF MORMON , winner of nine Tony Awards including Best Musical announced today that tickets will be available at the Broward Center box office, 201 SW Fifth Avenue , Fort Lauderdale , FL 33312 , www.Ticketmaster.com or by calling 954-462-0222. Group orders of 15 or more may be placed by calling 954-626-7814 or 954-462-0222.
Attached please find a press release and production photographs for THE BOOK OF MORMON (see collage above) coming to Broward Center for the Performing Arts November 26 – December 22 as part of the Bank of America Broadway in Fort Lauderdale 2013-2014 subscription series.
Mark Evans - THE BOOK OF MORMON First National Tour (c) Joan Marcus, 2013.
Phyre Hawkins, Mark Evans, Christopher John O'Neill THE BOOK OF MORMON First National Tour (c) Joan Marcus, 2013.
THE BOOK OF MORMON First National Tour Company - THE BOOK OF MORMON First National Tour (c) Joan Marcus, 2013.
The positive things about this new restaurant are the service and the dining room in addition to the eye catching lit up sign over the counter spelling out KITCHEN!
They seem to have gone via the new fad of the customer coming up to the counter. ordering, paying and then sitting down with your food served by the cashier.
I do not know about ‘healthy food’ only if food tastes good or not, but this place seems to go way overboard with their prices.
We started off with Artichoke Fries servd with a citrus sauce on the side. They are spicy, which I like, but the portion is way too small for $6. It was sort of adding insult to injury when we got our main course with a ‘side’ of pickled veggies. Sorry but no way is that a side of veggies–they were served in a very small cup that normally butter or cocktail sauce would be served in. A side would either be on the plate or in a monkey dish which would have consisted of more than a teaspoon of veggies.Okay the fries didn’t taste healthy which, in a way, made them taste good to me.
Allen had a Berry Blast (strawberry, banana, blueberry) smoothie ($6) and I had an Exoctic Refresh (coconut, pineapple and banana) smoothie ($6)–there was a note about ‘make it a combo and get a smoothie for $5 but I let it go.
For our main course I had the Chic Which ($12) and Allen had the Steak Which ($12) with that teaspoon of veggies. Next time put a piece of fresh parsley or basil. The organic ezekiel sprout bread was delicious. The free range chicken breast with ‘balsamicmaui onion, cured tomatoes, arugula mayo and melted brie (though I didn’t see or taste any of the latter) on the sprout bread was tasty but that $12 price is too much. Allen said nothing about his sandwich which isn’t a good sign.
We decided to share a banana split ($7) which came with blueberries, strawberries, a banana, chocolate syrup and with, what is says on the menu, vanilla ice cream. It tasted more like ice milk and/or ice refrozen a few times.
All in all the check came to $61.95, including tax, and with the groupon deduction of $16 the total was $45.94, far too much for what we got.
At these prices there should be full table service.
I have only been to one other ‘health food’ restaurant–the vegan restaurant Sublime which I, also, found overpriced–and I wonder if eating healthy means dying broke?
One on me–I just called the restaurant to complain about being overcharged on the bill–I was wrong!!!! I didn’t hesitate to apologize. LOL
Today was the last day of summer—officially! It was our last Thursday to take advantage of the Cafe Vico’s 2-4-1 summer luncheon specials. (Though they will be open next Thursday–Thanksgiving Day we will be going to the Isle Casino for their Thanksgiving buffet–the special will end.)
Since June 20 we have had 26 luncheons each for a total of 52 different dishes using both the menu items and the different specials. Whether it was fish like Tilapia or Flonder, veal, chicken, pork, shellfish and all items served with pasta varying from ziti, fettuccine or linguine or/and fresh vegetables there were only two dishes that I remember anything negative about. I found a pork special a little too salty and I think Allen said something about one of his orders but I don’t remember what he said or what the dish was.
I will say their lasagna is the best I ever had and their 4 cheese ravioli was a treat. I can never get enough of their shellfish piscatada in olive oil and garlic. The hot garlic rolls served with a heavy garlic dip is a meal in itself.
The service from the busboy(s) and waiter(s) is tops and reflects that of Mr. and Mrs Marco Vico that own the restaurant and are hands on when it comes to making everything run smooth. They are busy now building an addition of a piano bar which should be open in early 2014. They do have a movie and dinner evening one night a month and next month they will be having a cabaret night.
Cafe Vico has become my ‘go to’ restaurant if anyone is visiting from out of town. With excellent food and excellent service plus owners who care what could be better? In fact I am seriously thinking of holding my 20th Leap Year birthday there on February 29, 2016–keep tuned for further announcements!