WHY DO ABUSED WOMEN STAY?   Leave a comment

I am reading Anjelica Houston’s new autobiography “Watch Me” in which she talks about her 17 year affair with Jack Nicholson and how he humiliated her and also about her violent relationship with Ryan O’Neal. It got me thinking about a subject men know very little about though we are hearing more of their being on the receiving end of being battered and I find it very hard to understand how a woman can stay with a man after the first time he humiliates her, hits her, controls her.

Huston, Judy Garland, Lana Turner and Jane Fonda are just a few of the famous women who stayed with demanding, hostile men, some who beat them. Okay Huston and Fonda had strong, famous rich fathers who, supposedly didn’t love them and there are many psychological reasons why women stay in abusive relationships but these women had money, were smart, had careers. While with many female singers like Billie Holiday, Anita O’Day there was drugs involved I would dare to say most women aren’t drug dependent but I don’t know.

In many cases there were/are children involved such as the case of Lana Turner and her abuser Johnny Stampanato who was killed by, some say Lana’s daughter while others say the daughter was a cover up for Lana having killed him.

I am basically talking about famous women of the past but we all know of current cases. They were famous and rich but still didn’t leave. Why not?

Right now there is a case in Florida against Catherine Pileggi for murdering her boyfriend, Ronald Vinci, in 2011 after 20 years of abuse.

I have heard many excuses for a woman staying with an abuser such as no money, fear, lack of self esteem, he is the only one who loves her, they know their abuser and don’t know what will happen if they leave, etc.

Are these reasons valid? How do we show these women there is a better way? That they have to get out? How do we reinforce their esteem to take that first step? How do we save them from getting killed or their men going on to abuse the children?

I am just asking about something I know little about.

Posted November 18, 2014 by greatmartin in Uncategorized

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