Archive for the ‘LOVE’ Tag

NEGATIVE PEOPLE AND THEIR ‘DRAMAS’   1 comment

Why do people NEED so much ‘drama’ in their lives and why do they have to share it with everyone? Why when things are pleasant do they have to ‘stir the pot’?

Since I moved into Gateway, which is devoted to old, poor people and since I have been on the Internet the agony, the negativity seems to flow from a certain type of person who can only, wants only, to share their negativity. Luckily there are a lot less of them than those who are positive about what life brings them no matter what it might be. I really do prefer people who make lemonade out of lemons then those who moan and groan if they have a hang nail.

I have had people say they can’t stand my being positive all the time. Well for those who don’t know it being upbeat, happy, positive is a lot of hard work, especially when things are rough emotionally, mentally and/or physically and I’ve been there. I have learned little tricks to get me smiling and when anyone asks me how I am feeling no matter what I will say “Fantastic!”

On one blogging site I let my positive guard down and got involved in a blog war with some of the most negative people who are, of course, know it alls and it has been hard to ignore their stupid comments, their gay slurs, their threats but it sure has been worth it. Now I just sit by and laugh at all their silliness and let them have their ‘wars’ without me.

I truly believe in karma and I have found the more negative a person is the more physical problems they have and it reaches a point where no one listens to them. We have one neighbor here that if you ask how he is you know he will respond with either he should have died yesterday or he thinks he will die today. It has reached a point how long it will take when he starts speaking to mention how he was almost near death. He has been dying every day for 10 years!

Yes we are old folks and most have aches and pains and some have life threatening illnesses but with most you would never know it. There are people going through chemo, people who live with oxygen tanks, some who can’t walk and yet they are as upbeat as only a survivor can be. Oh I will moan and groan too but it is not in a negative way and whether I have an aorta valve replacement or wake up bleeding internally or whatever I’ll talk about it either to give or get information.

It is not so much the physical and/or mental problems that people have but the emotional negativity they constantly throw out. They never have–or at least share–a good day or an upbeat time. They are miserable and everyone is miserable to them and they never do anything to provoke people to be that way towards them or so they say.

Life is NOT easy folks but it works better if you are positive and bring cheer to others in your attitude, words and actions.

Whenever you see me just ask me how I am doing and, yes, the answer will be “Fantastic!” no matter what the circumstances. And I am not sorry if you don’t know how to handle people who enjoy and love life but watch that karma, it comes in all forms.

Posted March 11, 2015 by greatmartin in LIFE

Tagged with , ,

IF YOU LOVE ME YOU WOULD…..   3 comments


It is not a secret that I am not good at love relationships. I had 4 exes before I woke up and realized that I was better off living alone and concentrate on just having friends. I made that decision in 1984 and have never regretted it. Oh sure it would be great at my age having someone around to ‘take care of me’ but it isn’t worth the price to me. Also the longer I live alone the more I don’t want to share my space.

The bottom line is that I am too selfish, too unwilling to compromise, that make it very difficult for people to live with me. Yes I’ll ask you where you want to have dinner but I have already picked out the restaurant I want to go to and that’s where we’ll wind up! Oh I am generous and giving but still it is ‘my football and we play the game my way or I’ll take the ball and leave’ which, DUH!, doesn’t go over well when you are suppose to be partners.

It is said that I am willing to share everything I have but my food—mmmmm, I think I said that!–which is true but that’s not enough for some people. They want their partner to share everything!

Another problem is that I am not jealous. I know the person I am with is the best so I expect people to hit on him and that’s okay as I see it a compliment to me that I have someone so hot others want them. That leads to another problem as I don’t believe in physical fidelity. My partner having sex with someone else takes nothing away from our relationship. It is meaningless sex and just a fleeting satisfaction. Okay I know most won’t agree with me and you have the right to be faithful IF you want to be but don’t be selfish and expect me to be. As long, as partners, we don’t take time away from each other what’s the harm?

The last thing I want to hear is, “If you love me you would…..” If you love me you wouldn’t ask me to do anything I don’t want to do!

I would much rather have friend or two, maybe even ‘with benefits’, than be ‘married’ legally or otherwise.

Posted March 7, 2015 by greatmartin in RELATIONSHIPS

Tagged with , ,

HAPPY VALENTINE’S DAY   1 comment

There is a young lady of 75 who said she had never received a Valentine’s Day card. She was very happily married to a guy who, as she says, “……was not a candy and flowers type of guy,” He recently passed away and she is doing the best she can which appears to be pretty good.

After reading her post I thought of the many people who, for whatever reason, don’t get a Valentine’s Day card and in my own way I don’t want that happening today.

To all people, single, married, partnered, male, female, gay or nongay, religious or not, who believe or don’t believe in Valentine’s Day and Charlie Brown who has been waiting for one for 50 years, who won’t be getting a Valentine’s Day card or chocolates or flowers or a phone call these guys in the slideshow below got together and want to wish you a VERY HAPPY VALENTINE’S DAY.

PS Just want to throw out there that one of the best days of the year to get chocolate cheap, well comparatively, is on February 15 when all the drugstores, supermarkets, wholesale stores, sell their packages and boxes of Valentine’s Day chocolate for 50-75 percent off!


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xYIlNjTM720

Posted February 14, 2015 by greatmartin in LOVE

Tagged with ,

THE PLANT THAT NEVER STOPS GIVING   Leave a comment

I MISS YOU DEAR FLOHARD TO BELIEVE YOU DIED 32 YEARS AGO TODAY

55 years ago, when I was living on Miami Beach, the woman who showed me what unconditional love was, Flo, gave me a Mexican pot that she had bought on her honeymoon during her first marriage, and planted an aloe pup in it. That pot has been with me ever since and can’t even imagine how many pups have been given away or replanted in other pots of mine over the years.

I noticed the other day that the plant on the right was too huge for the pot which started to tip over so I got to work today and did some repotting and replanting making 5 new potted plants for a total of 7 aloe plants all related having started from the mother plant all those years ago.

Miss you Flo but see you everytime I look around my apartment!


FLO AND ME IN 1968 AFTER I LOST 100+ POUNDS

Posted December 19, 2013 by greatmartin in Uncategorized

Tagged with ,

ALONE BUT NOT LONELY–THE WAY TO GO   Leave a comment

 

At this time of the year many people are overcome with loneliness some choosing to end their life. I leave in a community of uld people and it isn’t easy for them at this time of the year. Some don’t have family while others are estranged from them and a lot just live to far away.  (Just an aside a great holiday gift would be to reach out to aomeome who is alone–invite them for a meal–take them to a movie–spend part of your day talking to them.) The one thing everyone can learn is that living alone does not mean being lonely!

It took me 50 years, 4 exes, innumerable mini-affairs to realize that I prefer, enjoy, need to live alone.

I make/am a great friend, adviser, listener but as a life partner a dud. It could be I am too selfish, unwilling to compromise when it comes to ME, unable to sustain a physical relationship with one person or a million other reasons. And it’s NOT that I haven’t found the right person–I did in 1981 but it couldn’t/didn’t last.

Why do I like living alone and don’t feel lonely? Let me tackle the latter first.

I have 7 different, very close friends. If I want to go out to a movie or play, attend an event, spend time at the beach, share a joyful time, cry on someone’s shoulder or just talk they are available. If I want to have a physical encounter I have a group of people to call upon.

Now as to not being/feeling lonely: I have many interests such as reading and writing that take up a lot of my time and there are only 2 things I don’t/won’t do alone–have sex and eat out in a fine restaurant.

Advantages of living alone:
1) I can come home and not have to worry about how the person I live with is feeling, what kind of mood they are in.
2) If I don’t want the TV on it stays off.
3) I can watch what programs I want nor do I have to buy another TV to solve ‘arguments’.
4) I have the whole bed to myself.
5) I do what I want when I want
6) I can eat, read or do anything else I want in bed without having to worry about annoying/disturbing someone.
7) I can eat what I want when I want.
8) I can get up or go to sleep when I want.
9) I can smoke, fart, pick my nose, scratch my butt (Oh, I know YOU don’t do any of these things) use my fingers to eat (Oops! Maybe I should have listed this separately after the other things mentioned :o)) without any comments or put downs or silly laughs
10) I don’t have to hide anything, including what i watch or put on the Internet.
11) Not having a person talk when I am watching and/or doing something when I prefer quiet.
12) I like to vacation, take trips alone, and stop/see where/what I want for as long as I want.
13) I can be sloppy or neat, clean after myself or not without ‘nagging’.
14) I can be responsible for myself only and not for someone else.
15) I can have the a/c on or off–depending how I feel.
16) I can say and/or think “I” as much as I want.
17) I won’t/don’t do anything I don’t want to do.
18) I can eat the whole cake, box of chocolates or cookies, bag of potato chips, etc. myself. (I told you I was selfish!)
19) If I run out of something it’s my fault.
20) I don’t have to lie–not even a ‘white’ lie.

And the list can go on.

The only advantage I can see to having a live in partner is that when you get old and/or sick someone can take care of you.
Besides all I have seen or read about partners are the problems they had or are having.
Plus I don’t have to go through the heartache of a breakup :o)

Posted December 4, 2013 by greatmartin in Uncategorized

Tagged with , ,

I LOVE…   Leave a comment

rain hitting the window–yes, even in hurricanes
all different flowers, their looks and their different aromas
hearing kids laugh
bringing a smile to someones face
looking at the sky whether  cloudless, full of clouds, during the day, at night, etc.
day dreaming
the Arts: theatre, movies, writing, music, etal
food (everything and anything except oyster plant)
piano bars, supper clubs
walks on the beach
travel
memories (good and bad)
mentors
honesty
self awareness
caring people
reading in bed
sharing what I have
control
jazz and blues singers, mainly female
my friends
being alone
sex
indulging myself
treating others
the sounds of birds
animals
nature in all of its forms
observing people
showing people my Ft. Lauderdale
cruising

This is just a partial list–most of all
I LOVE LIFE!


Posted November 4, 2013 by greatmartin in Uncategorized

Tagged with ,

A WEEK IN MY WORLD PART 3   Leave a comment

It has been raining ever since I complained that we weren’t getting rain during the rainy season!!! It did give me an opportunity to continue on a major task–I have been deleting old blogs that aren’t relevant any more–so far about a thousand–when through with that I plan on eliminating ‘friends’ that requested to be a friend and haven’t been here since–next is to get rid of subscriptions of people who aren’t here anymore or at least aren’t posting anymore–last but not least will be the elimination of photographs–amazing how it all accumulates!

*****************************************************************

Yes I LOVE food! There is no questioning that, though I do question where people get the idea I am always eating out . I, generally, eat out on Thursdays when Allen takes me on my errands and we will get a bite to eat on Friday after the movies. During theatre season we will eat before going to see a show so the most we are talking about is 3 times a week but mostly twice a week.

I cook most of my suppers at home–usually 7 nights a week–and will write about that at the end of this week or the beginning of next week. I love to cook but as a single man I usually cook simple items where I use to love to have dinner parties and cook a rack of primes ribs , shrimp scampi, linguini in white clam sauce, serving a made from scratch Caesar salad, having various appetizers and what’s not to love about carrot cake with a scoop of ice cream for dessert.

This summer Allen and I have been eating lunch at the Cafe Vico which are doing 2-4-1 lunches and after 10 weeks we have yet to have less than a great meal. Along with excellent, friendly service, an owner and his wife on the premises helping, this is a restaurant to look forward to going to. When they go back to regular prices I won’t be able to eat there as often because lunch at $16-$18, including tax and tip, would be a bit high.

On the other hand I am seriously thinking of having my 20th Leap Year birthday party there on February 29, 2016. I am starting to save money now just in case I haven’t won the powerball by then!

******************************************************************

Posted September 16, 2013 by greatmartin in Uncategorized

Tagged with , , ,

CONGRATULATIONS TO CHUCK & TERRY   Leave a comment

 

Just wanted to share with you the wedding cake I sent to Chuck and Terry on the occasion of their marriage (and I won’t even get a piece!!!) It is a red velvet cake from Zest of Memphis and being delivered now!

Posted September 2, 2013 by greatmartin in Uncategorized

Tagged with ,

REMEMBERING FORGOTTEN THINGS   Leave a comment

I never should have opened that accordion folder, or worse, start reading the letters, notes and cards . I have done nothing for the past 24 hours but read them all. In away it was like reliving my life from 1955 to the 1990s. There was a lot about me in that folder. There were long impassioned love letters telling me how great I was when we first met to the last letters telling me what a horrible a person I was when we were breaking up.

There were letters from my mother, father and stepmother that I never remembered getting and yet were so familiar because, except for my stepmother, they said the same things they had said when I was a child. My stepmother’s letters surprised me as they were filled with her theatre going stories, movies she went without my father because he wouldn’t enjoy them (Ingmar Bergman films) and her trips oversea, even getting my father to go to Italy–he was a great traveler but only in the USA! My stepmother is the one who introduced me to the world of art, galleries and museums

Along with those, and a slew of letters from Pepe, Johnny, Bernie and Bill, there were so many letters from people I didn’t recognize! I got a 12 hand written on legal page size letter from Tom! Who is Tom? Oh, I had a lot of letters from Tom Webster who who I met in Hollywood. Tom and I kept in touch until the mid 60s and then no more letters. I got a dozen letters from Frank, who after I reread his letters, I realized  was a pastor in a Catholic church in another State who I met when he took a vacation in Florida. Let’s just say the church didn’t know his story.

It was incomprehensible to me how I could have had an intimate relationship with someone for months exchanging letters, calls, going out on dates, sleeping together and not remember who they are–what does that say about me? Yes, I know!

The fun thing about going through these old letters are all the nice things said about me. In the hundreds of cards, notes and letters I would say about 98% are positive and could/would give me a big head (hush!) if I believed them.  Of course if I believed those I would have to believe the really nasty ones–mainly written as ‘we’ were breaking up.

Do I/should I contact these people again? Why? Just to see if they are still alive? If they remember me? How do I do that? Facebook? Google? Bing? Maybe over the weekend I will post a blog giving names, last date of contact and where they lived. What do you think? Should I just let things be as they are? Would you want to hear from someone you may not even remember? And how would you go about finding them? Reaching out to them?

Indulge me while I quote a few letters:

“As I was reading your manuscript of The Free Prisoner I became immobilized (for the lack of a better word) by the deeply contemplative aspect of it–of youas experienced in its pages. As I read I became more deeply aware of Martin, The FreeD Prisoner, the ultimate, the personification of sensitive manliness–you made me more aware of myself thanks to your sharing and caring.”  TOM

I think this is from Linda (I know the last name but)–a 100 pound loser in one of my Weight Watcher classes.

“All my life I’ve been an object of humiliation therefore when I first walked into your lecture I thought you would be like all the rest. I could not decide whether to sit down or run out. I’m very glad I stayed.  knew that someone else could feel the same way I’ve felt all those years. I have always believed in absolute honesty> I respect you for yours. …………………….Accept this letter now with my thanks for the help you have given me.”

It was a long letter and one of the most heartfelt  I ever received from any of my members. I hope she has kept the weight off–should I find out? Should I look for her? Or should I just leave it?

“I think the sole purpose of this letter is to let you know how much you mean to me as well as how much our relationship means to an even greater degree. At this point I can think of nothing more significent to me than that hurried comment from the cruising gentleman who complimented my ‘sexy face’.” Perry September 10, 1977 11:45 PM   Okay who is this Perry??? And should I quote his last letter to me? I don’t think so! LOL

Posted May 23, 2013 by greatmartin in Uncategorized

Tagged with , ,

PANDORA’S BOX–FORGOTTEN TREASURES   Leave a comment

In 1964 my alias was Martin Laurence but I had forgotten that 49 years later until I opened the accordion folder at the bottom of my cadenza. Having lived at Gateway for 14 years I have seen what happens after people die. Heirs, family and/or children, come in and just throw everything out . For the past few years I have been getting rid of anything that wasn’t NEEDED–sold books, Playbills, records, CDs, DVDs, pictures on ebay–little by little I have been giving things away that I didn’t use anymore or if I had two of something–I was throwing out my old Weight Watchers memorabilia–old cameras, wires, papers and so on. I have been transferring my album pictures to a outside hard drive and someday I might throw out my books of phone numbers and, yes, even my diaries but then again I may just let Allen throw them out as long as he promises not to use them for blackmail!

It was raining heavily today so I decided to go through the dresser drawers where I had tons of pages of unfinished books, plays, writing idea and such but then I remembered the folder and I think I had ‘hidden’ some gold chains in there and decided to go find them and maybe cash them in if I found them. I lost the rest of the day as I found treasures of my past.  One of the first envelopes I picked out was the Joan Crawford ones. Yes that is plural–for 10 years I would send her a card and for 10 years she sent me a note. I would meet her, when she was of the Board of Directors of Pepsi cola, very briefly in 1967. Should I keep them or????????

I have letters from George Chauncey jr–he was to drop the Jr later–who had written a best selling, much admired, often quoted, nonfiction book “Gay New York: Gender, Urban Culture and the Making of the Gay Male World.” I contributed a lot of information to him and am quoted extensively in the book. I have cards he sent from Europe and letters talking about our meetings in New York. Should I send them to him or throw them out or????????

I have a 12 page handwritten letter, on a legal pad, from Tom which said at the beginning, “…and he felt I shouldn’t write you because if the police came to your apartment they would find the letters and I would have problems.” This was written August 30, 1978, when I was living in Memphis and I remember the actor Tom I had met but was this him???

There was a stack of letters from Pepe, my first live with lover, apologizing for being late for one of our first dates, going to see Jerry Herman’s first Broadway musical “Milk & Honey” at the Martin Beck Theatre. It wasn’t the first time he was late for a date nor would it be the last but he did get better. There dozens of letters and cards basically tracing our relationship, having an apartment in Queens, from beginning to end, when he moved to Puerto Rico to open his business to get his folks out of Cuba. Oh yes he mentions Mundi who he was partners with in more ways than one.

There were letters from Tom Webster, when he lived with David Bradley, director of 2 Charlton Heston movies, and he and I had an ‘affair’ and when I left Hollywood we kept in contact for a couple of more years. He was a writer and was working on a musical. Many letters there but more from Joe Russell the actor.

There were letters from my stepmother that I don’t ever remember getting and a few from my father each saying the same thing. There were letters, lots of letters from, including some that my lawyer probably could have used to settle my lawsuit against Bernie and a pile from Johnny. The most ‘fun’, interesting were all those from Bill, each more caring than the other and still caring after we broke up. At one point I was going to e-mail him this afternoon asking him if he would like them back or telling him I was mailing them to him. After thinking about it I thought that was nasty and stupid, certainly not worthy of him or what we had.

I have only gone through half of the letters and am looking forward to see what memories, or not, I’ll find tomorrow. I do know I am going to have to google a lot of people’s names plus see if I have any luck on facebook. Did I mention the pictures I found? I am looking at one of Pepe and I, all dressed up in suits with lobster bibs around our necks and posted in a folder for Hackney’s on the Boardwalk in Atlantic City, New Jersey. Wonder if it is still there–oh well another mystery to follow up on.

Would you want an ex from 30, 40 years ago, sending you the letters and cards you wrote them in the throes of love?

Posted May 22, 2013 by greatmartin in Uncategorized

Tagged with , ,

%d bloggers like this: